Remembering an Angel:
Steven Locke
by Kevin Caruso
Steven Locke was a handsome, soft-spoken, sensitive and caring man.
And he was extremely affectionate. He would always greet his closest friends with a hug.
And Steven was an excellent graphic artist and constantly amazed his friends and co-workers with his adept work.
He also had many hobbies. He particularly enjoyed reading, nature, and hiking. And his hikes amongst the trees always made him feel good.
But Steven struggled with clinical depression, and he needed to stay in a psychiatric hospital on a few occasions because of his depression.
His best friend, Karen Seith, did everything that she could to comfort him when he was depressed. Karen and Steven had a special relationship, and they always looked to each other for support. Karen constantly visited Steven and supported him in every way that she could. But Steven kept falling into a deeper and deeper depression.
Sadly, Steven never received an effective treatment for his depression.
And on April 19, 1995, Steven hanged himself.
He was 35.
Steven was found with rope burns on his hands. After he began to hang himself, he tried to stop the process, but it was too late. Steven did not want to die. He just wanted to stop his pain.
We miss you Steven.
You are now an angel.
Karen was devastated by Steven's suicide, and shortly after Steven passed away she wrote this poem:
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I met Steve in 1995.
He was a beautiful man, with cascading black hair, beautiful full beard and luminous blue eyes.
Our Souls connected....
but he was a tormented soul..
his crying voice pierced my heart.
All I could do was hold him, this broken man.
So I did.
Then one day, Steve was gone.
A loud silence came over me that morning.
They had said that Steve was on life support.
They didn't say what he had done...
but they said that they had found a silk yellow rose near his feet.
I knew then, that he had thought of me, moments before he did whatever it was that he did.
We found this yellow rose on a walk once...and decided that everytime we saw each other, we would trade off....I still have that rose.....somewhere....
And I wondered: Did he think twice? Is that why he is on life support? Because he couldnt go through with it?
I was the only one of his friends who didn't get to say goodbye to Steve.
I wasn't allowed because I was so distraught.....I didn't know I had to show up to the ICU with balloons and a smile!
Steve remained on life support for about 6 hours.....his family decided to pull the plug.
He was brain dead.....
He lived for 2 1/2 hours after they pulled the plug.
Some say he was waiting for me to say goodbye to him.
I didn't want him to think I forgot about him, or didn't care....it wasn't my fault! They wouldn't let me see him.
I sat outside his room, and all I could see were the tubes that kept him alive.
I waited until he was gone......I heard the last beep on the machine, then....silence.
I said quietly "Goodbye Steve....I love you."
Then I completely fell apart.
I just lost my best friend.
