Randall Benzel is a suicide survivor and a great person.
He lost his younger brother, Russell Benzel, to suicide, and from his pain a beautiful poem flowed directly from God to his pen.
Randall sent me this wonderful poem shortly after he lost Russell, and I was deeply moved. I know that you will be too.
Dedicated to the Life of my Brother Russell V. Benzel
Healing Begin
by Randall Benzel
You were my brother, you were my friend
I don't understand how it came to this end.
Life seems so cruel when it turns against us
even when we created most of the problems that haunt us.
We have nothing but questions with no end in sight,
when God calls one home to his eternal light.
Our thoughts leave us empty and feeling alone,
we can't understand God, why you've taken them home.
What comfort we find, comes only with time,
as we try to repair our lives from despair.
We ask you O Lord to help us believe,
So our hearts and our minds may begin to conceive
how only Your way is the path to our end,
and with Your guiding light may our healing begin.
The phone calls you made late into the night,
were your cry for help from your troubles and fright.
Would we have done anything different to reach out to you,
there's just no way of knowing what only God knew.
I can't help but wonder along with those left behind,
how our enduring love couldn't save you this time.
Not a day will go by that we don't think of you,
and how different it could be if only we knew.
We ask you O Lord to help us believe,
So our hearts and our minds may begin to conceive
how only Your way is the path to our end,
and with Your guiding light may our healing begin.
Only you knew the reasons for your depth of despair,
but I sit and I pray that you knew we all cared.
Your death although tragic has given us light,
that you no longer suffer and struggle to fight
the demons that held you so strong in their grasp,
that the good Lord decided to take you at last.
If we could turn back the pages in time,
to a place you held dear in your mind,
we'd look to the heavens and ask God above,
to take all your pain and replace it with love.
Love for the lives we pray you held dear,
your family, your friends, who always were here.
We can't visit the future or return to the past,
But our love for you will forever last.
We ask you O Lord to help us believe,
so our hearts and our minds may begin to conceive
how only Your way is the path to our end,
and with Your guiding light may our healing begin.
When the end has come for those we hold dear,
is it our place to question God for the answers to our fears?
Is it too much to ask for the pain to subside,
so that our heart's no longer troubled and our soul is alive.
Our questions to the Lord, we only pray will be heard,
so that we begin to understand thru His deeds and His word.
You brought us together as we lay you to rest,
our lives changed forever but still we are blessed.
Blessed from your soul with God's love on high,
we look to the heavens and know you're nearby.
We love you our friend and we always will try,
to picture your face with love in your eyes.
For this is the look that we'll remember the most,
as you go to rest with The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost.
We ask you O Lord to help us believe,
so our hearts and our minds may begin to conceive
how only Your way is the path to our end,
and with Your guiding light may our healing begin.
