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Bullying and Suicide Information

Bullying and Suicide Information

by Kevin Caruso

Bullying is an extremely serious problem in schools and can result in the victims becoming depressed and suicidal, and even taking their own lives.

Bullying occurs for many reasons.

Bullies might:

  • Feel the need to hurt others because it makes them feel powerful.
  • Want to get as much attention as possible.
  • Feel that they can bully because nobody will stop them.
  • Feel the need to control others.
  • Believe they are justified in their bullying because others have hurt them.
  • Be so unhappy that they want to bring others down to their level.
  • Have no conscience at all and feel no remorse for what they do.
    (Most criminals do not feel remorse.)
  • Think that it is "cool" to be a bully.

Keep in mind that all bullies are cowards.

What can be done?


Talk with you children every day about what is going on at school.

Ask them if anyone is bullying them or bothering them in any way.

Let them know that they need to tell you immediately if they are being bullied.

If they ever tell you that they are being bullied, and you determine that the bullying is of a minor nature and no physical contact has occurred, then you should get in contact with the administrators and teachers at the school immediatedly. Go to the school and raise your concerns--make sure immediate action is taken. And get specifics with respect to what will be done. Do not leave until you are satisfied.

If the bullying was serious, or if there was a physical assault of any kind, call the police immediately. Then contact the school administration and demand immediate action.

Keep the lines of communication open with your children. Again, ask them on a regular basis if anyone is mistreating them at school. And always let your children know that they can talk with you at any time about bullying.

Also, look at your children carefully for bruises, scratches, etc. If you see any, ask about them. And if they are wearing long sleeve shirts, jackets, turtle necks, etc (especially during warm weather) that may be hiding bruises, ask them why they are wearing the clothing. Ask them straight out if they are being bullied or hit at school and if they are trying to cover any bruises.

And whenever a serious case of bullying occurs, you should (in addition to visiting with the principal), send certified letters with a return receipt to the principal of the school, school board members, and the superintendant. This will demonstrate your seriousness, and will create a paper trail that you can use if the bullying does not stop. Make sure that you date the letters and inform everyone what happened and what needs to be done. Be detailed. Write down the full names of all of the bullies, what they did, and the date the incident occurred.

Request a written response for all of the letters, and ask for a complete list of all actions that will be taken. If you do not receive responses, keep writing. Or transfer your children to another school. Be proactive. Stop any bullying problem immediately, before it becomes a big problem. If anyone thinks that you are "overreacting," then they are ignorant. Do not let their ignoarance cause problems for your children. Be persistent. And take whatever actions you need to take to protect your children.

Again, with any serious bullying, call the police immediately.

You also want to document everything that happens. Write copious notes about every aspect of the bullying. If there are bruises or injuries, take pictures. Use a notebook to write down any doctors visits, calls to the school, visits to the school, letters sent, and also all responses that you receive.

Put everything in file folders and keep them handy.

Again, document everything. Actions, dates, times, locations, responses, etc. Write down everything.

Also, do not hesitate to transfer your children to another school. Do not think that somehow they "win" if you transfer your children. You need to do what is necessary to protect your children. Do not think in terms of "winning' or "losing," just think about the safety of your children, and do whatever you need to do to ensure their safety.

Again, take whatever action you need to take to protect your children.

Any administrator or teacher that does not take bullying seriously is ignorant and incompetent. Do not let their ignorance and incompetence endanger your children.

In any dangerous situation, keep your children at home. Do not let them go to school until you are 100% sure that they will be safe. You cannot be 99% sure--you must be 100% sure. When in doubt, err on the side of caution and keep them home.

Also, make sure that your children get counseling if they are the victims of bullying. Bullying can lead to depression and to suicide, so take actions to safeguard their psychological health.

And, again, if you do not believe that it is safe for your children to go to school, do not let them go. Period.

---Do not let your children go to school if it is not safe for them to do so---

Students who are being bullied:

If you are being bullied, you need to remember that all bullies are cowards. So anyone who is bullying you is a coward. Period.

But you must also understand that bullying can be very dangerous in at least two ways. First, you can get hurt physically, or in a worst case scenario, killed. And second, you can get hurt psychologically. Do not underestimate how damaging psychological trauma can be. If someone hurts you emotionally, you can become depressed. That means that you have a chemical imbalance in your brain. And when that happens, you will be at risk for dying by suicide.

I do not want to scare you. I just want to be honest with you and warn you how very serious bullying is. Unfortunately, many young people have ended their own lives because they could not face the bullying any longer.

So don't let that happen to you.

So what should you do if you are being bullied?

Immediately go to the principal and your teachers and tell them what is happening. You should also call your parents from school and let them know what is happening.

If you have been assaulted, or the situation is serious, call the police immediately.

Do not put up with any bullying at all. It is always wrong. It is oftentimes against the law, and it should always be against school rules.

Remember that bullies are cowards. And all cowards do not want to be confronted. So, if you take action against them, they will be confronted by authorities, and show themselves to be the true cowards that they are.

Whenever you feel in danger, you need to talk to the principal and your teachers. You should always feel safe at school. And I mean always.

And if the bullying is bad enough, you can consider going to another school. Some bullies are such cowards, that they just won't stop. So if you need to transfer to another school, then you should do so.

And always, always, always tell your parents when someone bullies you. They need to know, and they need to know immediately.

So, speak up. And don't ever let anyone hurt you physically or emotionally. No one has a right to do that.

And if you do not feel safe going to school. Don't go.

---Never go to school if you are in danger. Stay home---

And always remember that a bully is a coward.

But you are a special person.

And a great person.

Teachers and Administrators:

School policies should be in place for how to deal with bullies.

If you do not have school policies for dealing with bullies, then you need to implement those policies immediately.

Also, the issue of bullying needs to be raised regularly at faculty meetings.

There should be zero tolerance for bullying, and immediate action always needs to be taken when bullying occurs.

A proactive approach needs to be taken so students will be comfortable with approaching teachers and administrators when they are bullied.

And all students who witness bullying should be encouraged to come forward and tell teachers immediately.

Whenever bullying occurs, all of the parents of the students involved need to be contacted immediately and informed what happened and what actions will be taken.

And any time serious bullying or violence occurs, the police need to be called immediately.

Any bullies who do not stop bullying should be suspended or expelled.

The emphasis of the zero-tolerance-for-bullying polices needs to be on the safety of the students. Not the "rights" of a cruel, dangerous bully. Therefore, reasons for suspension and expulsion need to be clearly described in the school policies.

Every student should be able to go to school and feel safe. Every day. All of the time.

So always take immediate and thorough action when bullying occurs.

Too many children have become depressed or died by suicide because of bullying.

Don't let that happen at your school.

Do everything you can to prevent bullying. And if it does happen, take quick action to stop it.

It is your responsibility to ensure the safety of every student.

If you or someone you know is suicidal, please go to the Home Page of this website for immediate help.

Thank you.

I love you.

Take care,

Kevin Caruso

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