Suicide and Ambivalence
Kevin Caruso
If you are suicidal and you are still alive, you are ambivalent about dying. And that is good. That is very good.
Almost everyone who is suicidal is ambivalent about dying-leaning towards suicide at one instant, and then leaning towards living the next.
Suicidal feelings are complex. Ambivalence is a way to try to sort through everything
and come to a solution.
Live or die?
What should you do?
Live!
And let me give you many reasons why. Well actually you are going to give the reasons why. Please continue...
What I want you do right now is to write down all the reasons that you can think of for why you should live.
Get a piece of paper and a pen and start writing. Think of every single reason that you can. Take as long as you need.
Write those reasons down now, and then come back.
Okay. Are you done? Now, no cheating, you need to do this exercise.
If you have completed the exercise, thank you. If you haven't, then please do it. Do it for yourself.
Now, take a good look at that list.
Every single thing that you wrote down is a valid, important reason to live.
Now, put the list in a drawer, and add to it whenever you want.
The list will never end. Every time you want to add to the list, do so.
You can use a spiral notebook it you want. Write, write, write.
Keep writing down reasons why you should live.
And every time you that you have a suicidal thought, you can look at that list. That's right, look at those reasons for living.
That is your list. You made it. Use it. Sometimes, when you feel really bad, you can forget about those reasons to stay alive. Remind yourself.
And when you feel good, keep writing down reasons to stay alive.
Keep writing!
And don't ever tell me that you have no reason to live. You do. Many, many, many
reasons to live. If you are being honest, then you will have a long list. Period.
I want this to be an ongoing project for you.
You can add to the list every day.
And every time you write you will be reminded about the reasons you are here.
You are awesome!
And remember that it is never okay to die by suicide.
But it is is always okay to remind yourself of why you should live.
Take care. And keep writing!
If you or someone you know is suicidal, please go to the Home Page of this website for immediate help.
Thank you.
I love you.
Take care,
Kevin Caruso
