Suicide Survivors: Coping With the Emotional Pain
by Kevin Caruso
Losing a loved one to suicide is extremely painful.
So how do you cope with the intense emotional pain?
One very important thing to do is contact other suicide survivors. They have gone through what you are going through now. They can offer you tremendous support, love, and understanding.
It is extremely important to connect with other suicide survivors as soon as possible.
One excellent way to connect is to join a suicide support group. There are numerous suicide support groups that you can attend. These groups are filled with great, understanding people who have also lost a loved one to suicide. So please do not hesitate to contact a support group near you.
Please click below for a list of suicide support groups:
Suicide Support Groups
You also can contact websites for online support groups and information.
Please click below for a list of some excellent sites:
Links for Suicide Survivors
Again, it is extremely important to connect with other suicide survivors. I cannot overemphasize the necessity of doing this. It is a very important step in coping with your pain.
And please make sure that you eat a healthy diet and exercise. Doing those two things will help tremendously.
Engaging in some forms of relaxation can also be quite helpful. Do some things that you know will relax you. Take a warm bath. Go for a walk. Listen to some pleasant music.
And express how you feel. Do not hold your emotions in. Communicate with other suicide survivors and other supportive people.
And consider keeping a journal. You can write whatever you want, whenever you want. This journal is just for you, and it provides you with one more way to express your emotions.
Again, please do not hold your emotions in. Express them in constructive ways. This is a very important step. Unexpressed emotions tend to magnify themselves in time, so get the emotions out.
And try to find a great therapist -- not just any therapist, but a great therapist -- who will help you work through your emotions. You can get some recommendations from other suicide survivors in your area. And if you do not like your therapist -- leave and do not go back. I have talked with numerous suicide survivors who have had horrible experiences with therapists. Many therpists made ignorant and insensitive statements, and could not be considered competent therapists, let alone caring and understanding people. And I have talked with numerous suicide survivors who have had wonderful experiences with therapists, and have received great help and support.
Therapy can definitely help tremendously -- but do not settle for anything less that an excellent therapist.
I would be very careful about going to "group therapy" or a "grieving group" unless it is composed of suicide survivors. I have spoken with innumerable suicide survivors who have had horrible experiences at such groups. Many people in the group who were not suicide survivors made ignorant and insensitive statements, and were not very supportive. So my advice with respect to "group therapy" or "grieving groups" is to not attend any such group. Again, seek out groups composed exclusively of suicide survivors.
And get support from your close friends -- and I mean real friends, not just people who use the word "friend" for their own convenience. Only consider reaching out to friends that you can trust. And if they are not supportive, then they are not friends. Period. Forget about them. But some of your friends will be supportive and caring beyond any level that you could have imagined -- they are real friends. Make them part of your support group. And reach out to them when you need help.
So, establish a strong support network consisting of people offline and online, suicide survivors and non-suicide survivors, and when you need help, reach out to them.
And be gentle with yourself.
You are a great person.
Please take care of yourself.
If you or someone you know is suicidal, please go to the Home Page of this website for immediate help.
I love you.